Begin by signaling care and collaboration. Example: “I’d like to share an observation and hear your view. Is now okay?” Name purpose and time box. Normalize learning. Invite corrections. By lowering threat and increasing choice, you prepare the ground for specific, actionable coaching that lands.
Candor without care feels like attack; care without candor feels like avoidance. Practice pairing the SBI pattern with appreciative framing: describe behavior, its impact, and ask for perspective. Use neutral nouns, present tense, and short sentences. Curiosity questions amplify dignity while keeping responsibility clear.
Focus on shared goals and customer impact rather than personality labels. Try: “Our goal is reliable handoffs by Wednesday noon. What obstacles are getting in the way, and what support helps?” Aligning on outcomes turns disagreements into joint problem solving and builds commitment through tangible next actions.
Start with facts: “The release date moved twice, and our customer onboarding slipped.” Explore dependencies: “What changed after legal’s request?” Acknowledge system constraints while keeping ownership. Co-create a recovery plan with named checkpoints, visible risks, and escalating signals. Finish with gratitude and mutual commitments recorded.
Start with facts: “The release date moved twice, and our customer onboarding slipped.” Explore dependencies: “What changed after legal’s request?” Acknowledge system constraints while keeping ownership. Co-create a recovery plan with named checkpoints, visible risks, and escalating signals. Finish with gratitude and mutual commitments recorded.
Start with facts: “The release date moved twice, and our customer onboarding slipped.” Explore dependencies: “What changed after legal’s request?” Acknowledge system constraints while keeping ownership. Co-create a recovery plan with named checkpoints, visible risks, and escalating signals. Finish with gratitude and mutual commitments recorded.

Lead with the situation, then the behavior you observed, then impact on goals or people. Example: “In yesterday’s review, interrupting twice slowed decisions.” Invite: “How did you see it?” Summarize and propose: “Could we try hand signals next time?” Jointly refine, confirm, and schedule a check.

Clarify the Goal, surface current Reality, expand Options, and secure the Will. Ask scaling questions, visualize tradeoffs, and book micro-commitments. Keep ownership with the coachee. You provide scaffolding, not steering. End by capturing experiments, support needed, and a calendar reminder for reflection.

Describe what happened, express feelings carefully, specify the desired change, and state consequences or commitments. Use neutral, respectful language. Example: “When deadlines slip silently, I feel anxious; please ping me immediately. If workload spikes, we’ll re-scope together.” Follow through and review progress compassionately.
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